Michael Jackson - P.Y.T.
Tom has a look at this veritable classic involving michael jackson, some herbs/spices, a girl and (not any) kids. Really.
Where Did You Come From Lady And Ooh Won't You Take Me There Right Away Won't You Baby Tendoroni You've Got To Be Spark My Nature Sugar Fly With Me
Michael Jackson has been snuck up upon by a lady, and he demands to know immediately from where she came. But in a bizarre twist regardless of where this lady came from (I mean what if it was somewhere like Scunthorpe or Carlisle? No offence to the residents of either, but you can't really imagine a romantic excursion there...or Grimsby, for that matter) Michael Jackson would very much like to go with the lady to whence she came.
He then asks (I'm presuming) if she is a particular spinoff of pepperami meats ("Tenderoni"?), a saucy sausage who is capable of "sparking his nature" (what does that even mean? He's a boring nobody most of the time unless he is with his special someone? Usually I find it's the other way round with people, but that's just cynical old me I guess) - although it appears she isn't just saucy and spicy but she's sugary too. Aww. How many different flavours could possibly be attributed to one person, really? I mean a woman is like a fine bolognaise, you don't want to put too many flavours in there or they just all drown each other out and you end up with an inedible substance.
Don't You Know Now Is The Perfect Time We Can Make It Right Hit The City Lights Then Tonight Ease The Lovin' Pain Let Me Take You To The Max
Now is apparently the time and this is apparently the place where the magic can start to happen (Neverland at hometime?). MJ feels that he and this flavoursome lover of his can right a lot of wrongs by hitting town (ok...didn't realise I was doing the world a service when I went to town on a Monday night but hey) and tonight, well, tonight he can ease the loving pain that his poor lady suffers - before absolutely taking her to da MAX (basically street for "I am going to plough you big time.")
I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.) Pretty Young Thing You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.) Tender Lovin' Care And I'll Take You There I Want To Love You (P.Y.T.) Pretty Young Thing You Need Some Lovin' (T.L.C.) Tender Lovin' Care I'll Shake You There
Pretty mundane chorus this though I did have to take a double take when he said P.Y.T. and make sure he wasn't talking about some polyfiller or something. Anyway. He believes that his pretty young thing needs taking and shaking - I mean really, MJ just makes it so easy to attribute himself with various misdeeds and really by now I've gotten sick of just how ridiculous his lyrics are. I mean, did anyone actually bring the lyrics of these albums which he sung so tenderly and sincerely up in the trials? Because I think if they did the verdict may well have been entirely different. I mean this is absolutely ridiculous! Hey pretty young thing, you need some love from me - and I'll shake you and take you and we'll watch Peter Pan and all will be right. (to MJ's lawyers, the above is just an interpretation of what he has sung here and not a depiction of actual events)
Nothin' Can Stop This Burnin' Desire To Be With You Gotta Get To You Baby Won't You Come, It's Emergency Cool My Fire Yearnin' Honey, Come Set Me Free
Right, back to business then...and what an unpleasant business it is. Nothing can stop MJ and his burning desire to be with his spice rack of a girl. He feels as though he has to get to this young lady and instead of going with her back to Grimsby, he wants her to come with him - claiming that he is suffering an undue emergency. She would appear to have some doubt as to the nature of this emergency (and also about how effective she would be if it were an emergency genuine enough of her attention; i.e. would 999 not be the better option? Or Green Flag perhaps?).
It would appear though that in reality the emergency is genuine - he has been placed in a hostage situation and there is fire surrounding him! There is finally after 8 tracks and god knows how many awful minutes, there is finally drama in this piece!
Don't You Know Now Is The Perfect Time We Can Dim The Lights Just To Make It Right In The Night Hit The Lovin' Spot I'll Give You All That I've Got
Michael Jackson chooses a hostage situation as the ideal time and place to tell this girl how much he loves her - an admirable sentiment if she weren't (apparently) there under the pretence of helping him get out of this emergency, not dying in his arms tonight. He says that (with the hostage takers permission, which I doubt they'll give) they can dim the lights and make it right and have the night of their lives, and basically get it annnnn in front of the hostage takers, who probably want freedom or democracy or some rubbish like that as opposed to watching black-on-white hot hot hot action.
Still, MJ promises to give all that he has, and as we've all heard from the courts - that is no insignificant amount.
Pretty Young Things, Repeat After Me (Michael) I Said Na Na Na (P.Y.T.'S) Na Na Na (Michael) Na Na Na Na (P.Y.T.'S) Na Na Na Na (Michael) Na Na Na (P.Y.T.'S) Na Na Na (Michael) I Said Na Na Na Na Na (P.Y.T.'S) Na Na Na Na Na (Michael) I'll Take You There
Hey Jude is it? Michael Jackson has his kids singing to him. Fucks sake.
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