Slade - Merry Christmas Everybody
Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall? It's the time that every Santa has a ball Does he ride a red nosed reindeer? Does a 'ton up' on his sleigh Do the fairies keep him sober for...
Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall?
It's the time that every Santa has a ball
Does he ride a red nosed reindeer?
Does a 'ton up' on his sleigh
Do the fairies keep him sober for a day?
Slade (and more specifically Noddy Holder) is asking the proverbial question “Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall?”. 
Now, I don’t know about you, but for me it was NEVER commonplace for stockings to be hung (hanged?) up on a wall, due to the impracticalities involved; our fireplace area had no hooks nearby and indeed most of the hooks/nails in our household were taken up either by coats or by pictures or clocks or something of that assortment. Apparently every Christmas “Santa” enjoys himself with his ball (probably bright red and, as is the wont of the modern day commercialized Christmas, sponsored by Coca Cola). If popular mythology is to be believed then Noddy’s question regarding red nosed reindeers is naught more than rhetoric, and I can’t say I’m exactly dying to enjoy this lyrical excellence. He finally asks if fairies (yes, fairies. How ridiculously implausible, the stuff of childhood fantasy) keep “Santa” teetotal for a day. Essentially here Noddy is implying that fairies are officers of Alcoholics Anonymous; so you really never are safe then.
So here it is merry Christmas Everybody's having fun Look to the future now It's only just begun
According to Noddy everyone is having fun over Christmas (what about the homeless and downtrodden, and single men with no family to speak of? Noddy clearly ignores these essential tangents of society and I am disgusted at this disregard), and that despite the fact that these people are apparently having fun, we should not enjoy the present – we should actually look to the future even though things are ace.
Are you waiting for the family to arrive?
Are you sure you got the room to spare inside?
Does your granny always tell ya that the old are the best?
Then she's up and rock 'n' rollin' with the rest
Noddy assumes that the person who is alone is waiting for the rest of their family to arrive – what if they have no family? What if their family decided to fly off to panama, pretend to be dead and leave them forever (leaving behind only a canoe in the process)? He then asks is this single, decrepit person with no family and no real sense of hope even has the room for this family to enjoy Christmas – well no because he lives in a mansion so he doesn’t need a family. Only Jeeves. And even he is only part time over Christmas so room is not an issue. This particular man has no granny as she died last year and as such Noddy’s question regarding grandmothers suddenly comes across as being highly insensitive and inappropriate – although he does at least appreciate that she’s up there in the great gig in the sky.
What will your daddy do When he sees your Mama kissin' Santa Claus? Ah ah
When daddy see’s mummy kissing an invisible generic entity (a figment of her imagination, essentially), he may become concerned.
Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall? Are you hoping that the snow will start to fall? Do you ride on down the hillside in a buggy you have made? When you land upon your head then you've been slayed
Noddy asks one of the stupidest questions ever; do we want to snow to fall? NO. Snow causes travel disruption and allows young kids to have fun. FUN! I’m no Scrooge (well that’s a lie) and, er, yeah. The song ends on quite a morose note as Noddy basically says that after you’ve had your fun, you’ll fall on your head and die. Somewhat moribund, non?
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