Rhianna - Shut up and Drive
I've been lookin' for a driver who is qualified So if you think that you're the one step into my ride I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine With a sunroof top and a gangster lean Rihanna has clearly had...
I've been lookin' for a driver who is qualified
So if you think that you're the one step into my ride
I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine
With a sunroof top and a gangster lean
Rihanna has clearly had some trouble with the police, as she is currently advertising for a driver who actually has a license. Now I don’t want to be naïve but isn’t that the first thing you check when you interview someone? Then again, maybe Rihanna is the one who was driving without a license, it’s all the rage in Hollywood these days, and lord knows if Rihanna is going to miss the latest celebrity fad.
I don’t really know what to make of this second half of the verse as I can’t really tell if Rihanna is making, sexually flattering comments about herself or if she actually believes she is a car (no wonder she doesn’t have a license). However, if she does believe herself to be a car then she is clearly a cracker, and certainly no Lada. She boasts that she has a sunroof and gangster lean. Now I’m not really down with street talk but I assume that a ‘gangster lean’ is a good thing?
So if you feel me let me know, know, know
Come on now what you waitin' for, for, for
My engine's ready to explode, explode, explode
So start me up and watch me go, go, go
I think Rihanna has lost her senses, literally. She seems to be reliant on her driver to tell her if he is touching her or not, I wonder if that’s in the contract? It seems the driver had better be a good mechanic as Rihanna is pre-empting that the a catastrophic engine failure which poses possible doom for herself (if in fact she is a car) and possibly the driver too as he could get taken up in the explosion. Now as it is still ambiguous, whether she is a car, I don’t know if this implies that the engine needs a new cylinder, or if Rihanna suspects that she is going to suffer organ failure.
However she seems quite calm about her impending doom and urges the driver to start her up and watch her go go go… (really stressing the go factor here). Now once again this is a bit of a head scratcher, as she is asking the driver to watch her go, which means if she is a car that she will be in effect driving herself and begs the question why does she need a driver at all? Even if the opposite is true, and she is asking him to watch her drive, then she is still breaking the law and I fear this sets a bad example to the children. Then again to be fair there are worse role models out there, Paris Hilton for one.
Get you where you wanna go if you know what I mean
Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine
Can you handle the curves? Can you run out the last?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night
Rihanna now claims she is going to get the driver where he wants to go, with a certain tongue in cheek hint. Alternatively she is offering to chauffeur him, which kind of defeats his purpose. Now surely, the former presents an ethical dilemma to the driver, as he faces the odd concept of being seduced by a car. However, Rhianna assures him that she is well worth it. Supposedly she has a ride that’s smoother than a limo. Now I’ve always suspected that limos would be rather cumbersome, so is this really saying much? Maybe the car just has really good active suspension.
Rihanna then asks if he can handle the curves. Now to be quite blunt why shouldn’t he? After all handling the curves is one of the first things you learn (aside from how the clutch works in my case) when driving? It may then be a case of if rather than when he crashes, severely mangling Rhianna’s chassis, or at least scratching up the paint job. However though, if he can do it without crashing then she can go all night (petrol permitting surely?).
Goes from 0 to 60 in three point five
Baby you got the keys
Now shut up and drive
(Drive, drive, drive)
Shut up and drive
(Drive, drive, drive)
After the rather long preamble about how great she is as a car (or how good her car is?) she tells him he’s got the keys and that he should shut up and drive. To be fair I don’t really see how this is an interview situation as she hasn’t asked him anything. She’s just gone on for ages about how great the cars is and then says shut up and drive. Is it any wonder her previous drivers haven’t had a license? In fact she is so serious he should just drive she orders him twice!
I got class like a '57 Cadillac
Got all the drive with a whole lot of boom in the back.
You look like you can handle whats under my hood
You keep saying that you will boy I wish you would
Rhianna claims she has as much class as a 57 Cadillac, in nice little name dropping moment. Now to be fair this car is not very classy, it looks like a toy car made big and has a hideous colour scheme. Then again, maybe Rhianna is just being ironic as a little joke, but I don’t really see how it works in this context. However, she moves on quickly from exterior and starts to detail the handling. Apparently it’s got drive, which is kind of surprising when she’s already compared it to a limo. She also mentions the surplus amount of boom in the back. This is also a bit ambiguous too (like much in this song hasn’t been) but I think it could be one of these:
- An ‘oh so’ subtle metaphor for her rear (both as a car and as a woman. I still haven’t grasped which she is at this point)?
- There are some brilliant speakers in the back. You know, the kind which plays bass annoyingly loud, (as is often seen on the streets of South Croydon)?
- She has a stash of drugs (she calls boom to lose the heat) in the back?
- She has a lot of explosives in the boot and plans to sacrifice herself to almighty God? Funny really I never really had her down as a terrorist. You think you know someone eh?
Naturally if the last two are true then the driver had better be pretty handy behind the wheel otherwise the cops will be onto them fast, or worse he’ll blow the whole gaff sky high. Rhianna seems to have faith in the driver though, as she believes that he can handle what’s under her hood. This is a bit unfair really as the engine is supposedly still due to explode, which means the driver will have his work cut out to keep that from going up and setting off the explosives in the back.
Cause' you play that game, got what I got (get it get it)
Don't Stop, It's a sure shot
Aint no Ferrari, huh boy, I'm sorry
I ain't even worried
So step inside and ride
Rhianna rounds off this strange little tale of cars and such, with a little jibe at the driver, having a go at him for playing games. She admits the car could look better and is indeed no Ferrari, for which she apologizes, but isn’t at all worried about matters as they stand. This is kind of a surprise to me what with what she’s described so far. Then she tells him to step in the car? To be fair I would have taken the fact that she believes herself to be a car to be enough and would have hi-tailed it out of there, without even considering that the car seems to be in poor working order, to the point that massive part failure is imminent and it’s packed full of explosives! Looks like she’ll just have to drive herself.
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