Fergie - London Bridge
Oh shit (oh shit) Oh shit (oh shit) Oh shit (oh shit) An auspicious enough start to a song considering it is just someone cursing, the thing is we don’t know what this is cursing? I have a number...
Oh shit (oh shit)
Oh shit (oh shit)
Oh shit (oh shit)
An auspicious enough start to a song considering it is just someone cursing, the thing is we don’t know what this is cursing? I have a number of suggestions:
- Oh Shit! Fergie is releasing a solo album!
- Oh Shit! Fergie is pissed (drunk or angry)
- Oh Shit! Fergie seems to have made a common error amongst Americans and referred to Tower Bridge as London Bridge (see the video and the album cover for proof of this error)
- Oh Shit! Fergie seems to be comparing herself to royalty as she shares the same surname as the Duchess of York, and nothing else….
- Oh Shit! I have tourettes!
Are you ready for this?Oh shit (oh shit)
Ohhhhh
It’s me, Fergie
The Pimp!
Paulo!
Fergie Ferg, what's up, baby?
Fergie kicks things off with a strange sort of little intro (as if the constant repetition of oh shit! Wasn’t enough) where it seems that Fergie is introducing herself in a rather convoluted ‘shout out style’ where she seems to claim she is ‘The pimp!’ I doubt this somehow and wonder how much she has been drinking or if she actually thinks she is cut out to be an RnB star (I also suspect this could be down to drink). Also is the pimp a title or an actual profession of hers? Neither is really made clear.
When I come to the club, step aside.
Part the seas, don’t be havin' me in the line.
V.I.P., ‘cause you know I gotta shine.
I’m Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time
Fergie as you can see has a rather high opinion of herself. As soon as she arrives at a club she immediately orders the clientel out of her way and demand that the seas be parted for her. Now only one person ever in history (and there is only one source for that making it possibly flawed) has been able to part the seas so I think Fergie may expect more than she’s going to get. She excuses this quite frankly alarming behavior with her V.I.P. status and tries to coerce people with her ‘feminine charm’ through flattery. All in all not the person to go to a club with. The club is not mentioned so we can’t really ascertain whether she is attending somewhere famous and high profile like perhaps Cream in London or Shelter in NY or perhaps a more conventional club like Tiger Tiger or Liquid. Nevertheless she isn’t afraid to flash her fame about.
All my girls get down on the floor,
Back to back, drop it down real low.
I’m such a lady, but I’m dancing like a ho,
‘Cause you know
I don’t give a fuck, so here we go!
Fergie now seems to start ordering her entourage to start dancing in a rather raunchy fashion as we can only expect from an RnB singer and then lays claim to her status as a lady who has rather an immoral side to dancing tans amount of that of a cheap hooker. Not such a rich V.I.P. now it would seem. However she doesn’t seem to care about this as it is sure to only increase her popularity with her listeners who probably get a kick out of that.
How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin’ down like…How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin’ down like…
Fergie is has made the elementary mistake again of referring to Tower Bridge as London Bridge. As a Londoner myself who makes frequent trips into that part of town I find this error quite amusing as I often here American tourists asking where London Bridge is only to insist that London Bridge isn’t the rather dull and factual bridge they find. Incidentally the song title is also meant to mean a sex position of the same name which is why she keeps talking about going down all the time. Either way she still seems to want her listeners to view her as a bit of a hooker, hardly befitting of her royal (hah yeah right) lineage.
Now As The drinks start pouring,
And my speech start slurring,
Everybody start looking real good.
Oh dear it would appear that Fergie has been drinking and the effects are taking rapid effect. She seems to have succumbed to the age old beer goggles, although I can’t really imagine Fergie sipping on a nice foamy glass of London Pride and can imagine that her drink may have a little more kick so maybe in truth she is suffering from Absinthe goggles.
Grey goose got your girl feeling loose.
Now I’m wishin’ that I didn’t wear these shoes. (I hate heels)
It’s like everytime I get up on the dew,
Paparazzi put my business in the news.
Fergie can’t help but name drop and points out that her choice of drink is a fairly expensive form of vodka. However she now makes a fairly common complaint of women which is the pain of high heels. Fergie being quite wealthy, I would imagine has paid a few thousand pounds for these shoes, which begs the question WHY WEAR THEM! She then complains about how her affairs with many men have been publicized by the press. This seems a little bit rich considering she seems to enjoy her fame when she has her entourage and can force people out the queue and perform superhuman feats. What does she expect too, when she tries to maintain a raunchy loose image. What does she expect the press report on!
And I’m like get up out my face, (oh shit)
'fore I turn around and spray your ass with mace. (oh shit)
My lips make you wanna have a taste. (oh shit)
You got that?
I got the bass.
Fergie decides action should be taken (leading to more cursing) and reaches for her handy mace. I don’t see how spraying someone’s ass with mace would be useful but she seems to think it works. She makes more sexual boasts about herself, although judging by her current erratic behavior makes me think that this ‘taste’ could result in macey pain when she decides its fine being famous and a sex symbol (hah! No!) when people are desiring her but when this leads to actual consequences she is likely to inflict pain.
Aah, da, da, da, da, do, do, do, do
Me like a bullet type, you know they comin' right
Fergie love em' long time
My girls support right?
Aah, da, da, da, da, do, do, do, do
Me like a bullet type you know they comin' right
Fergie lve em' long time
My girls support right?
Fergie seems to decent into semi-madness but this could just be the drinks talking again, she seems to start bigging herself up again, comparing herself to a loaded weapon. Makes you wonder why anyone would be interested in trying to pull her if violence is promised. Also what happened to London! In fact aside from the London Bridge name drop there seems to be no establishment as to whether Fergie is in London or is just admiring it!
Fuck you, bitches.
An eloquent sign off from a very royal lady.
Leave a comment