Black Eyed Peas - My Humps
What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, My...
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)
It appears that one of the chaps in the Black Eyes Peas, is inexplicably involved with car boot sales – possibly through a love of daytime TV favourite Car Booty, or just through one of his weekend passions inspired by some simply lovely days clearing out the attic with his father, and selling what was saleable on the front lawn, on a Saturday afternoon. Perhaps his mother would make some fresh lemonade to sell for a marginal profit, and all would be well. Yet from these simply lovely sentiments Fergie then declares her somewhat less than honourable intentions to get the subject drunk; whether or not this is because she then intends to steal all of their attic based wares to sell for her own profit (not really in the spirit of car boot sales) is debatable. She is also bringing attention to some “lovely little lumps” – whether or not this refers to a mole (potentially cancerous, in which case there really is nothing at all lovely about it) is at this stage unclear, thanks to the ambiguity involved.
I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and NaDonna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
Brother I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.
Fergie appears to drive her brothers crazy – which, if she is obsessed with her moles, is hardly of much surprise. Despite her ill advised treatment of her close family, they still appear to love her – even buying her ice cream. Whether we’re talking Haagen Daaz or Tesco Value is unclear, but the thoughts there at least. She then lists the various perfumes that she has been purchased by her brothers – who I have to say are being just a tad generous. For my sisters birthday I purchased her a piece by the Buena Vista Social Club, the album name of which I have forgotten, but it features a number of collaborations with those hip artistes Coldplay, U2, Kasier Chiefs etc. Now 64, but with a Cuban twist. Her brothers even purchase her clothes made out of what appears to be flies – well, to each their own. I can’t say that I keep up to date with fashion but if that’s what’s in these days, well count me out.
Fergie then claims that she does not ask for these beautiful gifts to be bestowed upon her (just as well, anyone who requests that someone purchases them a fly-coat for their birthday clearly has a screw or two loose). This cycle of give and take continues until a somewhat sickening plot twist is revealed – incest! It appears that Fergie is dating one of her brothers, and that somehow she is then protesting – presumably in favour of incest and for it to be made perfectly legal and socially acceptable. Which is just of course nonsense.
My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you
Surely Fergie cannot be referring to mere lumps here, for only men with the weirdest of fetishes could possibly be attracted to such a thing. She could of course I suppose to be referring to her breasts, but any woman with the sheer stupidity to refer to such a significant part of the anatomy as “humps” is just daft – I mean when I think of humps I think of speed bumps. And they are hardly attractive; important in their own functional and practical way, but not at all attractive.
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me
Fergie apparently has this chap (presumably one of her aforementioned (incestuous) brothers) spending all of his money on her. Poor bloke; just give her your credit card and go home and play some Xbox as opposed to spending all that time buying things for her.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what).
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)
Ferige’s brother is asking what Fergie intends to do with all of her posterior – well, one assumes the simple answer to this is to sit on it. Job done. This however is not enough for Fergie (who understandably is insulted by such a rhetorical question), who intends to punish him and make him scream – hardly fitting behavior towards a sibling who has purchased her a lovely selection of possessions. However, it then appears that she intends to do this with an act involving her mole – disgusting, just disgusting.
I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.
The Car Boot sale chap (Fergie’s brother, one assumes by now) has met a girl down at the local discotheque. He then hooks up with a lady who obviously comes onto him because being a member of the Black Eyed Peas he is to love what Morgan Freeman is to acting. Everything. However, instead of actually getting any love-related activities involved, she simply wants to borrow some of his milk (it is not specified whether she infers to Skimmed, Semi-Skimmed or Pasteurised milk) as her cocoa puff’s are a bit dry. All fair enough, although she does seem to want to borrow a significant amount of milk, which I actually feel is a bit cheeky seeing as she apparently has never met the chap before.
I mean I can’t exactly say that I now intend to go into, say, Liquid (though I have no intentions anyway of going into Liquid) and going “Excuse me love, can I borrow some milk?” Although I have to say it is a massive temptation.
They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.
Fergie is claiming that people say that she is sexy; without properly citing her sources, in fact there is little mention to who these sex-critics actually are. Again, she claims that boys “wanna sex” her – but where are the references? Where is the actual proof, the tangible evidence, that this is actually true? Sure, yes, as women go there are far worse looking people than Fergie. But without proper factual information to back this up she is merely just taking a shot in the dark. There are more claims, and yet more pieces of evidence noticeable only by their absence. Fergie then makes the (more than reasonable) statement that she won’t be happy if boys decide that her mole is fit for touching – though why boys would want to touch a mole in the first place is beyond me. I mean, as fetishes go, it really is a strange one – but what fetishes are actually normal? A Foot Fetish? No thanks, no thanks.
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin' got you,What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
And for the first time in the song, there is finally some clarity about what Fergie actually refers to when she talks about her lumps; though I still think this is hardly a complimentary way to talk about them. I mean its not exactly everyday vocabulary or indeed acceptable in society; “my goodness dear lady, you have excellent lumps?*”
Whatever the case, Fergie is going to make her brother work – though by the sounds of things he has already gotten what he wanted, so she hasn’t really thought this through at all.
* - Though of course I suppose it isn’t really at all acceptable in society to go “nice tits.”
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