R Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly
One of the greatest songs ever written. Full. Stop.
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms
Mr. Kelly it appears at one time had doubts about whether or not he could go on. It appears that he used to be a lil' emo kid (though this would have been back before the modern day (and somewhat over-commercial and over-used) stereotype of the emo kid had been formed), and that all was not well in his world. He then compares it to an awful song (I'll avoid the obvious gag here), though I feel that this in itself could have been the root of the problems he was experiencing; he may well have been listening to awful music (entirely possible considering his probably influences), and all these various songs then congealed together to form a massive mega mix of purely poor music.
As life went on however, Mr. Kelly learned the meaning of true love (though he does not divulge this highly lucrative information, and indeed I for one believe that if I were to discover the meaning of true love then I would probably try and maximize the profitability I could attain - probably keeping the company private so I can greedily suck up all the profits, but making sure it's incorporated as there are likely to be a lot of legal ramifications with the discovery of true love and its definition), and he is leaning on everlasting arms - interpreted one presumes as a statue (though if he watched Doctor Who this week he'll know that whilst statues are lovely to lean on, you probably shouldn't blink around them).
If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it
It appears that R Kelly suffers a fear of going blind, but is trying to put a positive spin upon this. He is only capable of performing a task if he can actually see what it is; which means that:
- He would be useless performing a listening exam in French
- He would be useless phoning in to a radio talk show or partaking in a quiz on radio, such as Popmaster presented by Ken Bruce on his morning show on BBC Radio 2
- He would be a useless man if he were to be blinded in an unfortunate accident
It appears that Mr. Kelly also is highly gullible; as long as he believes something, then there are no more questions to be asked. Essentially, he is like one of those annoying teachers in Harry Potter who Just Don't Get It. He may be happy, but he is foolish - a simpleton, essentially*.
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
(Oh) I believe I can fly
R Kelly believes that he can fly - clearly, he is not quite all there. That, or he has had a significant amount to drink, though if I were this coherent after drinking a few bevies then I would certainly be amazed. He continues the earlier simpleton theme by believing absurdly that despite his physical inability to fly, that this process is in fact possible. Unless of course he is a trained pilot, and whilst I'm sure R Kelly would make a great pilot - as far as I know he doesn't need glasses, for instance, and with that voice he could calm even the most nervous of flyers - I don't really see this being quite up his street. Can you envisage him performing the hours of tedious pre-flight checks required when a man with his finances could just pay someone to do it, and someone else to fly the damn thing? No, I can't either. But really, good luck to Mr. Kelly on this foolish endeavor.
Mind you, what with the lack of any mention of any attempts to put his theorem to the test, it may just be that R Kelly is trying to big himself up with this absurd statement. Or, that he is just chicken**. Or is this merely the chat up line he uses with young people?***
See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes the silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me
R Kelly appears to be reminiscing about The Early Years, when things just weren't quite as good and silence seemed loud (really, some people will complain about anything won't they). He however then realized that there were miracles in life that he must achieve (though there is no evidence yet to suggest that he has actually achieved the process of flight), and this seems to be a statement that is still applicable even today. He does however realize that the only way in order to fulfill his ambitions is to change himself physically; a grand task if ever there was one.
Could I believe in it?
Well apparently R Kelly, if you believe it then there is nothing to it. So for gods sake don't believe it, your life may very well end up depending on it.
* - We are not actually suggesting that R Kelly is a simpleton. A man capable of constructing a plot so complex as the one in Trapped in the Closet is nothing more than a genius on a par with Wolfgang Mozart.
** - We are not actually suggesting that R Kelly is a chicken. This would almost be as absurd as his sentiment that he is capable of flight.
*** - What? Well OBVIOUSLY we're talking about girls who are old enough to consent. Sheesh. That link was just like a massive coincidence.
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