Weezer - My Name is Jonas
My name is Jonas. I'm carrying the wheel. Thanks for all you've shown us. This is how we feel. Rivers Cuomo claims that his name is Jonas. Maybe he’s decided to change his name by deed poll, or perhaps...
My name is Jonas. I'm carrying the wheel. Thanks for all you've shown us. This is how we feel.
Rivers Cuomo claims that his name is Jonas. Maybe he’s decided to change his name by deed poll, or perhaps it’s a cool (ha you must be joking) alias or pseudonym. Whatever his reason, he’s apparently carrying a wheel. I’m assuming then that he’s got a flat tyre on his car, as why would he be carrying a wheel otherwise? Unless he’s one of those cad’s who steals the wheels off cars, for profit (or a joke depending on the context I would guess). Honestly I thought Rivers was better than that. Maybe this Jonas thing is a way to get the heat off him from the police. What has happened to this lad, honestly?
However, that being said Rivers (or Jonas as some seem to call him now) thanks the policeman for showing him the error of his ways. Maybe this means now that Jonas (or is it Rivers? I forget) is a reformed criminal and will buckle down at school, as well as eating all his greens and not hanging round with those ‘bad’ boys in that band. I mean, they’re such a bad influence on him and he used to be such a nice boy.
Come sit next to me. Pour yourself some tea. Just like Grandma made When we couldn't find sleep. Things were better then. Once but never again. We've all left the den. Let me tell you 'bout it.
Rivers, ever the gentleman offers the copper in for some soothing tea. This I must say is exemplary behaviour from the alternative rocker and just goes to show that those bad influences like the rap music, and Tom Cruise, in the media can’t ruin him completely. Rivers then reflects on the tough upbringing he had. He doesn’t explain much more except to say that things were better than before he left the ‘den’ (which I’m assuming was his parents house and not an actual fox-den). Who’d have thought that becoming a musical success would bring out such feelings as that.
Choo-choo train left right on time. A ticket costs only your mind. The driver said, "Hey, man, we go all the way." Of course we were willing to pay.
Things seem to go very off topic here, as Rivers talks about getting a train somewhere. He’s very vague about this and claims the ticket cost him his mind. I don’t know about you but that sounds like some kind of loose drug reference. So it would seem that Rivers has been abusing drugs too. I sure am glad I’m not his dad as I would be a little bit peeved by this point. It looks like he’s blown a fortune on his habit too; then again it seems to go with the whole rock star territory.
My name is Wakefield. Gotta box full of your toys. They're fresh out of batteries. But they're still makin' noise, makin' noise.
Oh god! Rivers has brought up this alias rubbish again, and this time he claims his name is Wakefield. It not often I get to say this but Jonas was a much better alias, although the police have probably caught on to that one now. This time Rivers (or is it Jonas a.k.a. Wakefield? I’m getting confused) has been caught with knock-off toys, which could mean he’s become a del-boy like character selling shoddy wares at the covered market. What a cheap-skate too, as he’s selling toys without batteries and I don’t know about anyone else but I hate getting something without batteries like that. Especially when it’s Christmas and all the shops are shut (repressed memories abound!!).
Tell me what to do. Now the tank is dry. Now this wheel is flat. And you know what else? Guess what I received, In the mail today. Words of deep concern From my little brother.
River’s seems to have got away with his numerous crimes detailed thus far including:
• Using and possessing drugs
• Stealing the wheels off of cars
• Selling knock-off merchandise
• Lying to the police
• Giving a false name to the police
Now he seems to be having troubles with his car, which judging from his kleptomania is probably stolen too. He’s managed to use up all the petrol, and in a twist of irony (from stealing those wheels earlier) he’s got a flat tyre. It really hasn’t been his day has it? Rivers then tells us (rather irrelevantly) that he’s had a letter from his brother. It seems he like the rest of the Cuomo family is concerned for Rivers’ welfare. Then again judging from his lying before, it may be that he is irredeemable.
The building's not goin' as he planned. The foreman has injured his hand. The dozer will not clear a path. The driver swears he learned his math.
The workers are goin' home. (x4)
Yeah!
River’s also now seems to have a broader criminal concern than I could ever have fathomed, as it seems he is involved in a dodgy building firm. I knew he was a petty thief and drug abuser but I could never have pictured him being that far gone. This building project his lot is currently working on seems particularly lackluster, as workers have been injured; the equipment is sub-standard and the workers are lazy and poorly qualified. Just goes to show really you shouldn’t get building work done by alternative rocker contractors really.
My name is Jonas.
Rivers (if that is his real name) decides to finish on the note he began with, by giving a false alias to the police.
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