Album Covers 4 - Spice Girls et al
Spice Girls - Forever Who remembers this eh? The supposed final album after Geri left the group, ironically (or maybe out of desperation) known as Forever. What we are offered here is a wonderful picture of all the girls...
Spice Girls - Forever
Who remembers this eh? The supposed final album after Geri left the group, ironically (or maybe out of desperation) known as Forever. What we are offered here is a wonderful picture of all the girls looking very happy together, as if they were all the best of friends. I jest of course, but you do have to think in light of the girls trying to re-launch the ‘Spice’ brand whether there is something more foreboding in this album cover, a bit like the “I’ll be back in Terminator, as I wouldn’t be thoroughly surprised if they were un-killable like good old Arnie. In Victoria’s case was she ever a real person? After all Kids are becoming easier to obtain on the black market these days.
Still doesn’t this picture conjure up a glorious image of friendship and ‘girl power’, I mean who would be cold hearted enough to suggest that this was a corporate stunt to hijack feminism to make money. Who I ask? I’m not going to name names but bless… I mean they must be friends mustn’t they. I mean have you seen Spice World, I mean the acting was in a word very individual. Some could say they weren’t acting at all…
2 Kens out of 5
Craig David - Born to Do It
Ah good old Craaiiiig David. As the album tells us he was born to do it. I’m sure that when he was born a new star rose in the sky over the Warner music offices and they knew their messiah was with them. Let’s just hope he doesn’t get nailed up on the cross eh? Religious comparisons aside, the album cover gives us an image of Craig looking like he is being soothed by his own tones. In fact it looks so soothing I’m going to head over to I-tunes right now and buy it.
You do have to wonder if Craig is being slightly turned on by his own voice in this picture, as he does seem very satisfied by it. Maybe his sex mix tape has his own songs on it and he uses it to ‘warm’ himself up before pleasing his lady friends. I must say though if the image is true to this then it sounds like a cracking album. After all, this is the album with 7 Days, where he spends 3 days of the week making love continuously. So not only is Craig’s voice a huge turn on to men and women alike, it would seem that his sexual stamina is so great it can last nearly 72 hours (on a good week). Smug in one word would cover it.
3 Kens out of 5
50 Cent - Curtis
Heeey kids its Fiddy again, Or Curtis, as he’d like to be known in this album. Unfortunately, unlike his other albums, Fiddy portrays his least marketable attribute, his face. It’s kind of dominating the shot, with a little bit of bling (for good measure) and carefully name dropping G-Unit into the shot with his tattoo on his hand. Fiddy seems to have the weight of the world on him, as he looks to be under a lot of strain. Maybe it’s his fight with Kanye West getting to him, or maybe it’s that one of his homies has been refused entry to an exclusive club. I don’t know but I am a little worried he is trying to imitate the thinker (the statue in Paris).
It does make you wonder though what goes through ol’ Fiddy’s head sometimes, as he seems to be ruminating on something big. Maybe he’s musing over some problems in the world such as world poverty or maybe the state of the environment. It would be quite funny if he visited some starving children in South America, you know got them all blinged up and everything.
0 Kens out of 5
Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time
Ah! They grow up so fast these days, and it would seem none more-so than Britney. You look at this picture here and you think “awww, what a sweet looking little thing there. She looks like a good girl who eats all her vegetables, goes to bed when she’s told to and maybe just maybe goes to church once a week (if not more).” It’s a bit of shame really she grew up into a drug taking, alcohol abusing mess. I mean she looks terrible now; I wouldn’t want to take her home to meet my parents. I would be if she were still like that but now noooo. I could imagine my dad vomiting with range if I went out with Britney now.
Where did it all go wrong eh? Who is to blame? Was it terrorists? Was it Paris Hilton? Was it her parents? It doesn’t matter now as ultimately she is now mentally unstable. If this album cover was used for a dating advert I may have to remind her of the trade descriptions act. However, as this picture shows what a waste of a young life…
2 Kens out of 5
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