The Clash - London Calling
This song has bizarrely been ascribed with the term "classic." It pretty much isn't for lyricality, that much we can tell you right now...
London calling to the faraway towns Now war is declared - and battle come down London calling to the underworld Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls London calling, now don't look to us Phoney Beatlemania has bitten the dust London calling, see we ain't got no swing 'Cept for the ring of that truncheon thing
So, London is apparently a physical sentient entity capable of doing what many middle aged women cannot (Hi I'm Jim Davidson), and that is make a phonecall to someone in a faraway town. However it would appear that this caller has done what only one middle aged woman (Hi Marge) has ever done and that is to wage war on a faraway nation. Battle will apparently come down (I'm not entirely sure about this turn of phrase but we'll roll with it for now).
London is also calling to the underworld; it appears that London has opened up communication with the world down below (like something out of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) only with Mile End as opposed to Californ-i-a or wherever Buffy is set. They then ask the kids they've hidden in their kitchen cupboards. Right... they also decide to take a not-undeserved swipe at the Beatles (ooh, rivalry) and have reignited the old mods v. rockers debacle that saw shameful scenes in the 1970's. Really.
And our final complaint (and it is a complaint) from The Clash is in the form of moaning about how the only bit of swing London has is to do with the fuzz and their truncheons - batons, you may call them. This song so far seems to lack anything in the form of a coherent narrative and I have to say I'm not impressed at their lexical choices.
The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin Engines stop running, but I have no fear Cause London is drowning and I, live by the river
I predict an Apocalypse! It would appear as though The Clash are fearing some sort of Nuclear conquest caused by a feeble mistake; perhaps they were pre-empting the film War Games wherein a computer nearly causes a nuclear war between the US and Russia.
In amongst all these huge fears about the weather getting a bit funny the band also show their ecological side by saying that the wheat is growing thinner, and that this is a genuine agricultural concern.
And then it also turns out that the city of London is all drowning at once! This, I presume, is not a good thing - the fact that chappers is living by the river though is for me somewhat irrelevant seeing as the whole city is going down, I suppose really it's just lucky that he gets to die before having to watch everyone else.
London calling to the imitation zone Forget it, brother, you can go at it alone London calling to the zombies of death Quit holding out - and draw another breath London calling - and I don't wanna shout But while we were talking I saw you nodding out London calling, see we ain't got no high Except for that one with the yellowy eyes
I'll be honest, I have no real idea what an imitation zone is. It sounds kind of like an exotic term for the high streets of small town UK, which all look ridiculously similar these days. However I very much doubt that The Clash were pre-empting the monopoly of the supermarkets and out of town shopping centres back in the 1970's.
There is then some stuff about zombies (again helping boost the realistic values of this song), before talking about these said zombies breathing. Surely this contradicts the previous inaccuracies by being all wrong because as we all know, even though they don't exist Zombies can't actually breath; kinda one of the consequences of, ya know, dying.
And finally we have my favourite, most irrelevant and most utterly dreadful couplet of all time; we aint got no high, except for that one (remember that we're talking about, er, high's here) with the (highs, remember) yellowy eyes. WOW. There's definitely some rhyming in there, and I mean some utterly top class rhyming at that, but sadly with this rhyming comes a pretty big compromise in the form of not actually really having anything of coherency to say.
Now get this London calling, yes, I was there, too An' you know what they said? Well, some of it was true! London calling at the top of the dial And after all this, won't you give me a smile? London Calling
Chappers claims to have been there at the time that London rang someone else up and apparently what was said was partly true, partly false. There's some stuff about dialling, smiling, hiring, firing and perspiring. All in all I can only come to the conclusion that this song is total and utter dross lyrically and that musically yes it's catchy but it firmly belongs to the movement of its decade and why it still receives any adulation at all utterly baffles me.
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