Aqua - Barbie Girl
Barbie and Ken make a porno, essentially - as told by aqua.
- Hi Barbie! - Hi Ken! - You Wanna Go For A Ride? - Sure, Ken! - Jump In! - Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Swedish novelty act Aqua had an absolutely massive (and only mildly defamatory) hit with Barbie Girl back in the 90's. Quite aside from how any population could allow this to happen at the time we have the even more pressing matter of how this song still has cult value today. It's utterly disturbing.
Anyway. The beginning conversation in this song between fictitious plastic doll characters Barbie and Ken sounds like the beginning of a really dodgy porno movie. Indeed I wonder if there really is any Barbie porn out there? Either with the plastic dolls (ala Team America: World Police) or perhaps two real people named Barbie and Ken re-enacting various scenarios from the children's toy. Begrudgingly I would have to say that there's less chance of it not existing than it being out there and so I am fearful to even attempt to explore that avenue. However I do digress; either this speech is from the beginning of a porno or a movie about date rape.
I'm A Barbie Girl In The Barbie World Life In Plastic, It's Fantastic You Can Brush My Hair, Undress Me Everywhere Imagination, Life Is Your CreationIt would appear as though whoever this singer is, they feel as though they are synonymous with Barbie girls and all that there is to with female Mattel products. Apparently life in plastic is fantastic; I can only take this to mean that Aqua are endorsing plastic surgery on a quite disgustingly large scale by declaring it to be absolutely fantastic.
She then encourages disturbed and perverted thoughts regarding boys and Barbie dolls by saying that they can brush her hair, undress her everywhere and then do whatever they want to her; after all, imagination is indeed their creation. There's bestiality for animals but is there any equivalent for harnessing and then exploiting feelings for, er, small generic plastic dolls?
I'm A Blonde Single Girl In The Fantasy World Dress Me Up, Take Your Time, I'm Your Dollie You're My Doll, Rock And Roll, Feel The Glamour And Pain Kiss Me Here, Touch Me There, Hanky-Panky You Can Touch, You Can Play You Can Say I'm Always Yours, Oooh Whoa
It turns out then that Aquagirl is a blonde, single girl in a fantasy world. Is she referring to the world of the 20 minute pornographic video as a fantasy world? This gets all the more creepy and weird and, well, it seems like she likes being the subject of novelty pornography. In fact this is utter filth, hanky panky to a Barbie doll!?! It sounds as though she is actually clinically insane and to be honest with you I find the whole thing a bit distressing.
Theres more about touchy touchy and feely feely and well, it's all a bit too much for me to digest right now.
Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Ha Ha Ha, Yeah Come On, Barbie, Let's Go Party, Oooh, Oooh
Ken carries on to proposition Barbie into some form of organised rape. You know the sort I mean, the sort on a Monday night after Tiger Tiger or a similar variety of club thereof have kicked everyone out and all the girls are stumbling over wearing ironically clothes that they have torn off their Barbie dolls, being taken home by guys who should really know better. And in the morning they'll regret it and some of them will think that they have been violated when in reality it was utterly their choice. As I say, organised rape. A 21st century binge Britain disease.
Make Me Walk, Make Me Talk, Do Whatever You Please I Can Act Like A Star, I Can Beg On My Knees Come Jump In, Be My Friend, Let Us Do It Again Hit The Town, Fool Around, Let's Go Party!- Oh, I'm Having So Much Fun!
- Well, Barbie, We're Just Getting Started!
- Oh, I Love You Ken
This, to be honest with you, speaks for itself. Aquagirl wants to be dominated by some chap called Ken and, well, it all speaks for itself really. Clearly this is dialogue from some sort of pornographic epic, and one that perhaps is best left untouched for now (put your tissues down you sick sick man) - although at least love and subsequently a meaningful relationship is hinted at, thus helping to reinforce some morality.
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