Chipmunk - Who are you?
This is the chip diddy munk. Let's hear what he's got to say...
It says a lot for this song that most people refer to it as "The Chipmunk Song" and that it took me an entire three Google searches in order to ascertain the actual name of said song. Perhaps rather begrudgingly I discovered that it was called "Who are you" (Hip Hop artists these days are so overwhelmingly inventive and original) and that this today is to be the source of my not-inconsiderable and apparently academically cited wrath (true story!). Secondly (and you may have noticed this is unusual for me to open with an introduction but this is going somewhere), I can only apologise for the abhorrent grammar in the lyrics themselves.
Presumably some pre-pubescent little "wigga" felt it was up to them to accurately transcribe the lexicon of the great chipmunk itself and, well, it doesn't make for easy reading. However having listened to the song I am shocked at how accurate a representation it actually is and as such we are as we are.
I am da grime scene saver, rudolf raver, chick-King eater
t-high streeter, gladesmore jumper, addidas sneacker
p-rada weara, lyrical mc tearer, straight out da 90's earer
came out da clorine now i see clearer,
u vs me on u dats not fairer
peap at da top im nearer
i am da circler mover, 24 shooter, 16 year old mc trooper
always recorder, walk wid da Lord not a borer, Mr.munk's raw to da corer
u got ur wifey ur at home lipsin her up, she see's me shes flexin sora
its not a kiss ting, straight up pull down da zip ting
flick out da ting den bor her
big bar writer
calm, not hyper
To be quite honest with you ladies and gentlemen, I would describe myself as being almost-educated. I am in the final weeks of a relatively prestigious (ish) BA degree and, well, I can't quite ascertain what's going on here. Chipmunk immediately launches in to song by declaring himself to be a messiah of the grime scene (I wouldn't go comparing yourself to Jesus just yet though Chippy) before what could be my favourite doubling of words ever in saying that he is a Rudolf Raver. I would assume this means that in the times of year that aren't Christmas (i.e. January through to around mid May) that the Chipmunk and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer go out partying in various establishments the world round.
For a while after that Chipmunk does his best to drop in as many brand names as he possibly can and, well, fair play to him - I reckon he'll make a few bob out of that. He keeps dropping in hints that he's from the 90's (I think whoever was transcribing these lyrics intended for it to be the 90's "era" not "earer" but we'll roll with it) and says that he came out of a load of Chlorine (or "clorine" as we see it here) but now he can see clearer. I can only assume that Chipmunk works in the world of dream transcribing because there's no other way to link these utterly bizarre, unrelated and wholly irrelevant metaphors.
There's then something about shooting something 24 times when he was 16 (isn't that illegal) but the dialogue which really grabs my attention here is the subject's spouse being referred to. Chipmunk talks about "flick[ing] out da ting" and then proceeding to "bor" said spouse. Pretty much everything else in this verse I can work out but I can only assume that Borring is some kind of board game that the kids are playing these days - like Monopoly only instead of money there's teenage pregnancies.
grew up on dragonball-z
and street fighter
BMX rider
ga'll dem creeper
full time mic man
part time grinder
if u dnt like me i dont like u neiva
donut ur a minor
u come like sider
im da ray nefu's rider
nah u could neva test dis rhymer
Chipmunk led a humble childhood off the streets enjoying the various offerings that games consoles of the 90's had to offer; a bit of Dragonball Zee, a bit of Street Fighter whilst the Monk was also sat at home watching fresh prince riding his BMX while working his way up as a, er, part time grinder apparently. Which sounds like some sort of exotic assassin or at least some form of criminal...
(who are u)
Look cuzzy im chipmunk
known in da grime scene im takin ova
(who are you)
a nocturnal creature
snooze u lose da game is ova
(who are you)
look,by now u kno da name
so ders no need to say
16,3 mixtapes yeh im in da game
AINT NOBODY HOT FOR MY NAME!!
I can only assume here that Cuzzy is some sort of short form for Cousin. It is apparently well known in the grime scene that the chipmunk is taking over (it sounds like some sort of twisted Warner Brothers animation featurette). The chipmunk is also apparently a nocturnal creature (a fact that I can emphatically deny and as such it is no fact at all but merely a myth!).
The chipmunk then mentions something about losing out if you choose to sleep (again this isn't the case, a good nights sleep can help you rest for the trials and travails of the day ahead - no sleep means that you won't be able to meet these rigours with, er, rigour).
And then out of nowhere he starts talking about mixtapes and the fact that no-one is particularly keen to enjoy his name. Well at least we agree on one count.
(yo yo)
I'm 2 steps ahead, 24-7 i up da levs, no soundboi coulda dissed my team
from time im wid dat n ive always said
im still down for c dot m's, C wont stop till i c dem M's
always recordin big from mornin
dun'kno fo show chippy keeps it bless
and im fully grown, quote wat frisco said
der no dilly no dally in music
diss me u stupid?
cuzzy im a lord of da mike
i'll right a 16 den SHOOT IT!
deez kids cant do how i do dis
yeh Mr.munks movin
top 3 youth
in da game its me der chosin
cuzzy my mixtape proves it!
And so after the relative sanity of the chorus we are back to the inane statements that the Chipmunk has for us in the verses. He talks about being two steps ahead of everyone all of the time (so is everyone else essentially stalking him, or is he just running away and, um, not very good at it?). There then seems to be something about C's and M's (which still has me flabbergasted).
The Monk then continues to talk about dilly dallying in music, or the actual lack thereof in his music. Indeed he accuses us of, er, accusing him of being stupid because he thinks that we think that he thinks he should be dilly dallying. Okay?
There then seems to be something about righting (honestly, I mean that's just unforgivably wrong) a sixteen den and then something about shooting it. Is this like turning into a song about gun crime? Heroin? The Chirpy Chipmunk is pretty unsure of what he wants to talk about here and the song is suffering as a result, covering those dichotomies of violence and drug usage - things which are, to be fair, rarely mutually exclusive.
The Chipmunk continues to talk about his mixtape; I can only imagine that he's put some experimental alternative music (perhaps some Sonic Youth or newer stuff like Errors) on there being the alternative hip guy he is with that oh-so-hot name.
nah nah aint nobody hot for my name
im more den hot for my age
cant stop for a break
like let alone stop for a day
bars dat i made
do more dan light up a rave
in a clash i will light up ur face
ur a spade im an ace
im a dan. ur a waste
im puffy ur mace
im fully in charge
league of my own
im a bully wid bars
n not many kids wanna c me n start
cah like double S i get busy wid bars
im chippy im skippy im fully advanced
i am in a league of my own
circular mova
but i still move on my own
gotta stay out for da dough
i set da level up kids have to pedel up
come Mr.munks goin on sho
And so Chipmunk continues along the theme of people not being hot for his name - which I would personally regard as being something of a positive but other people may well disagree with me. He then claims that he is more "den" hot for his age, unable to stop for a break (certainly unable to stop for want of grammar, that's for sure). He continues to talk in this puerile way, talking about not being able to stop for a day and that if you make him stop for even so much as a second then he will light up your face - and not in a good way.
Because, reader and subject, as far as the chipmunk is concerned you are naught but a waste of space. It is you who is polluting the world and not jumped-up hypocritical shites filling the airwaves with utter trash. I mean really, what is this rubbish?
Why, oh dear lord why, would anyone have the intellectual deficiency to want to listen to this? It isn't catchy, it isn't clever, it is mind-clogging dross of the very lowest order. For me the only thing that accurately catches how irrelevant this song is is that this is the best transcription of the lyrics I could find. I mean this is all people care for this song, only enough to transcribe it in a pathetic and pre-pubescent manner. Shit, utter utter shit.
p.s. The only noteworthy thing about this song is the even worse cameo by Tim Westwood in the video. O. M. G.
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