Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy
Dave is too sexy. Oh. No. Sorry, the song is. Right.
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me
Richard Fairbrass is too sexy, well at least he thinks he is. This sexiness must open many doors for young Rich, and I'm sure that he is invited to parties and other social occasions in lieu of being too sexy. However, there is a dark underside of all this sexiness, and it would seem that he is just so sexy that he cannot love himself. That is quite sad and conjures up images of Richey shouting at his mirror reflection about being a whore or something equally self deprecating. Who'd of thought that it was possible to be too sexy for your own love?
I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
The tragic expose of Richard's sexiness continues, and it would seem that Dickey is struggling with simple day to day activities like getting dressed. In fact the experience seems to be incredibly painful for Mr Fairbrass, although he doesn't say whether this is physical or emotional pain. Is it possible that Rich has simply neglected to buy a new shirt for some time and has grown out of his current one? If this is the case then he really has got sexy confused with wearing a shirt several sizes too small.
In a shocking turn of events it would seem Richard's sexiness has seen him banned from several major world cities (and in the case of Japan an entire far-eastern nation). This rather screams of fascism on the parts of these destinations, and I must say that I am most shocked by the behavior of New York.
I have to wonder though if Rich is making up excuses, or lies about why he's not allowed into these places, as the truth may be more embarrassing. Maybe he committed a crime such as flashing, or minor litter offences. I have to say if I were deported from a city I would rather say it was because I was too sexy, so I can't really blame him for that. If anything he should be commended for coming up with a witty answer to a potentially shameful question.
And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing
Well I must say with this attitude he deserves not to go to any parties. I have never heard such cheek from the member of a British pop act, and I will not be extending Richard any future invites to my dinner evenings. Then again it sounds like I've dodged a bullet, as he seems to have a liking for disco dancing which is not in keeping with the parties etiquette. After all I really favor more casual affairs with wine and maybe some light music, and probably no dancing. You really don't want some bald twat lumbering into that sort of party, upsetting the guests by claiming he's too sexy for them, and then disco dancing during dinner. He's clearly got no manners.
I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk
I see Richard is a jack of many trades, as he finds time between working with the band to be a model. However, considering he's been thrown out of a few of the fashion capitals of the world how does he expect to have a serious career in modeling?
I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that
Richard is too sexy for his car too it would seem, which I feel really depends on the car in question. After all, if he is driving around in a Porsche 911 or a Ford Mustang, which are both incredibly sexy cars, then he is a little bit conceited. Although on the other hand if he is driving a Renault Aventime or a Fiat multipla, then Rich would be well within his rights to claim he is sexier than his car, as both those cars are travesties of design.
As the debate rages over which car Richard is driving, Rich decides to have a pop at his hat, which I can at least half agree with as I dispute that a hat can be sexy.
I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
Having claimed he is sexier than various cities, his car and his clothing he decides to turn on his pet cat. The comments are fair I suppose as I can't say cats are that entirely sexy, well except to other cats, and so they shouldn't be unless we wade into the debates of bestiality.
Have you noticed that Richard has not compared his sexiness to another person at all throughout this song? All that he is doing is stating the rather obvious, and it's almost the same as me claiming I'm sexier than my laptop, or my clock, or my towel etc.
And I'm too sexy for this song
I give up...
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